I should be happy

After getting the SGT rank and the pay rise, I should be happy... At least I have achieved yet another resolution for the year... but I am just feeling EMO... and it's not about the increasing responsibility in my NS as a Sergeant, though I will still have to work hard in the breakthrough to be like ONE.

The (Continuous) lack of lovelife, the lack of fate of finding the right person in my life... I don't know why I have been worried about my lovelife when a man should have worked hard to be a capable person and thus-love-will-come...

Perhaps I am 22 now(Soon to be 22.5 years old when NDP comes) and yet I never have a chance of having a relationship...

Perhaps I have gone through 10 years of hurt... the hurt of loving someone but not being loved the other way around... the hurt of having friendships with the particular person ruined... the hurt of not having the good fortune to find the right person while the others do...the hurt of having such a bad bad "LOVE" karma...

Perhaps the sense of loneliness at times...

I am not barking of not having a relationship and I am not being a desperado... Just that sometimes being single (for such a long period) can feel soo dreadful and the sense of emptiness at times. Once again, what I can do is to continue to work hard in my life, polish hard in my life and good fortune to come to find the right person to appear...

NDP's ending soon... and it seems that "lonely,boring" weekends will be back once it's over... I hope not. There are other things to do... such as playing football with Bendemeer lads, such as going for gakkai activities... such as putting more time on studies...such as doing some catching ups with friends... I just wanna create values in my daily life afterall...

and NOT let the sense of emptiness and my bad love history bothers me.