Due to my skin condition, I was given a PES C status and enlisted into SCDF for my National Service.
Had I not declared my medical condition, would I be undergoing my BMT training at Pulau Tekong or Home Team Academy rather than BRTC @ Jalan Bahar ? Or if I were still under SCDF, would I have posted to ERS instead ? Would I have posted to NSPD, meeting some nice friends yet also meeting some losers who built their happiness on others' pains ? Would the birthday incident be prevented 2 years ago ? Would I have awaken from my physical weakness and strived hard to pass my IPPT and eventually promoted to a SGT rank ? Would I start gyming along the way ? Would I go to a vocation which had a office hour timing and allowed me to go for part-time studies ? Would I have made such a mistake of choices in terms of my studies ?
4) What if I have took A-Levels as a private candidate during my 2 years of NS ?
This question is related to pointer no. 5. As my poly GPA score really sucks, I could only be eligible for private degree studies in Singapore. But what if I had given myself more options to myself when I learned that I was able to go for night classes during NS? What if I have took up a bold challenge by taking A-Levels subjects in order to get myself into local universities such as NUS, NTU or SMU ? Something I have never attempted before ?
Had I strive extremely hard and attempted A-Levels, would I have achieved good results that were good enough for me to enter a desired course in the local universities ? Would I be studying at NUS now rather than working at NUS now ? Would I be sharing the same hall room with one of my best poly friends, Choon Yan at NTU and enjoying the best school life over there ? Would I be feeling regretful about my studies this year, soo much soo that my emotions had taken over me and caused some 10 year friendships to an end ?
3) What if I could have done my human revolution in terms of handling my emotions of liking someone?
For the past ten years, I had only one-sided relationships, while many of these had ended up in a sorry state. Part of the reasons attributed to my control of feelings, where I could not handle my feelings and being over sensitive when it came to my love life. Unfortunately, history repeated once again this year.
If I could have been myself, would I still be in good friendships terms with these female friends over these years? Would this friend of mine be my KTV kakis at this hour? Would my friendships with this Secondary School clique still in as least talking terms or even better? Would I have been achieving bigger things in my life, such as studies? Would I have finally found that special one ?
2) What if I did not take up faith in 2003 and take part in SSA activities ?
This year was my 6th year practising Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism and my 5th year since enshrining the Gohonzon. Despite there were unhappy things around, I did manage to improve myself bit by bit through practising as well as getting to know many friends along the way. And yes... There were good fortunes flowing in my life since taking up faith.
Indeed, Taking up faith and getting myself involved in Soka activities did change my life. Had I not practising Buddhism and starting chanting for my happiness and victories, would I have push myself forward rather than staying in pessimism, especially what had happened in this year? Would I have made my self-realisation on my studies and in fact my life? Would I be more open up and taking initiatives to widen my social circle? Would I have get to know and forge friendships with fellow Gakkai comrades from Hougang Zone to Sengkang Zone, from NPSD to ITACSD? Would I have taken part in 3 National Day Parades, contributing to the national celebration of the country and widen my social circle ? Would I have taken up volunteering role for the Youth Olympics next year with SSA?
The list of questions just go on...
These memories in recent years... Would I have them if I did not take up faith at the 1st place?
1) What if I had gone more mature, study harder and do much better in my O-Levels ?
Like the 2nd point, the implications of this are never-ending. If I could have grown up and think of my future carefully rather than putting myself more focus in some one-sided relationship, would I had scored better in my prelims and spent my first 3 months in a junior college rather than working some part-time retail jobs during that period? Would I have gone to a junior college and enlisted into NS earlier than before in 2005? Or would I have gone to a polytechnic but taking a better course which I truly loved? Would I have got to know my polymates in this lifetime? Would I have found the right person in a JC or a better course in polytechnic? Would I have achieved greater results in A-Levels or in polytechnic en route to a local university? Would these Secondary School friends think more highly of me? Would I still take up faith in the years after taking O-Levels?
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