Last day for the second time

Today was my last day for the second time at PGPR. In fact, the past January was quite a packed one, as I had to juggle both school lessons and work together, though the good thing was that I was given time off to attend my lessons.

This time round though, waving good bye to my same old place was a simple one, especially after all the things that had happened for these past few months since the start of holidays.

I don't really wanna elaborate all the things that had really happened... All those details of somewhat bittersweet memories that had left behind. Fate may have brought us to a greater understandings through this working stint during the holidays, but never brought you to play an even greater part in my life. Perhaps everything happens for a reason. That's the sentence that may inspire people to move on, yet always remain an awful fact that can hurt people deeply at the start.

I can only blame myself for not having the right amount of good fortune to be with you at the very end, an always vicious cycle of 有缘无份... And these no matter how much prayers I had put, and those simple yet sincere things that I did to tell you how much I really care, to give you the right impression that I can be your right one. The fact is, at the beginning, fate of love was not at my side afterall.

You are not at fault at all, you always have the rights to make your choices, and choices are deserved to be respected. I will always be happy for you no matter how painful my heart may feel. Thanks for all these short yet significant memories that you provided in my life, those joy of working and getting along together and getting to bring a friendship to a greater understandings. And that's despite the fact that you may have left work earlier to prepare for the opening of the new semester, and we had never really interacted in our school activities, ever since you are officially with the person that you thought he's the right one for you.

Don't worry, I will definitely move on like I always did in the past... Though I am really tired of all these one-sided relationships vicious cycles that had been happening in me since young. Sometimes now, I wonder...... Who can now guarantee that I will find someone like you, or perhaps better than you ? Who can now guarantee that I will never have to go through the same old shit again ?

The festive month of Chinese New Year, turning a year older and Valentine Day should be a happier one... I could have my family and friends around me... But who can really kill off my emptiness inside ?

It's not a bad thing to be single... But ain't you sick of going through all these one-sided relationshits ? All you just want is to find the right partner and go through the joy and challenges of a relationship, like any other friends around you do.

If I can choose, I will rather go through the struggles of a relationships, be it quarrels or even breakups, than going through the same old vicious one-sided cycles that I thought I had learnt, but I felt I had always never learnt.

没关系

"这不是你的问题 是我没那个福气
没福气却又爱上你
就算哭了没关系 这不是你的问题
痛痛快快给我一枪 我没关系

爱情里面总有一个比较傻
怪就怪我放不下
痛苦给我 幸福留给你和他.."

Welcoming a hopefully much better 2011

It's great to end a last day of an extremely disappointing 2010 with the company of beloved family members and friends. The first 2 months of the year may seem to look harsh, yet I will definitely move on and get over. It takes some time.

Nonetheless, there will be much unsettled business in 2011. What's most important is whether I can overcome all those personal karma of mine and create my own path of happiness. What's most important is whether I can transform all those resolutions and wishes into reality by the end of it. Perhaps, past painful setbacks indeed make us stronger, a stronger will to breakthrough own's vicious cycles.

Staring at the past quarter of a century, I must win.