Speaking Out From My Heart

I know once I upload this post, I may cause some constroversies and I may encounter some criticism.

But there's something which I wanna speak out from my heart.

Tomorrow will be Valentine's Day... yet another single Valentine's Day. While most of the friends I know having found their other half and spent this day with their respective loved ones, I am just spending another day alone. Well, there's no deny that I have a very bad karma in terms of relationships, having a number of One-Sided Relationships since teenage... Read that word... One Sided. A scenario where I only like the person but the person doesn't even give a single chance to me, and things just getting worse no thanks to my stupidity and lack-of-wisdom. (I don't want to elaborate what really happen the last time around less than 6 months ago, I can only say a "good intention" becomes a make-up prank which I am unawared of, a very silly and cruel prank on me... until now, I am overcoming my thoughts on her.)

After all these years, the reasons behind all these hurts is that I do not give a good first impression that I can be a boyfriend material. Why do I say soo ??? Firstly, I am not those good looking type even though I have the good fortune to kill off my pre-NS acne problems, and my body language may give others a poorer image of me (One factor is that I have a tendency of smiling for nothing, which I don't feel it, or I just thinking something which sounds funny...). I don't really speak well and only know how to crack those "trying to be funny" lame jokes and in some ways, I am just acting-cute.

I felt that I had difficulties in my social skills year after year. I don't know how to put things in words... What I am trying to tell is that I made poor interactions to build strong bonds with friends around me, esp. female friends... perhaps I don't really understand what a girl really thinks and feel... I am just being insensitive perhaps ???

I don't wish to be EMO, saying more on how f*ck up my love life is since young... etc etc. What I wanna do is to continue my ongoing human revolution for the year 2008 and polish up my life. Meanwhile, let me have the self-confidence to interact with anyone around me and truly know about others...

Like what I mention that I have the good fortune to kill away my pre-NS Acne Problems, and this does help in my self-confidence, but I will continue to strengthen, in terms of my body-fitness and self-image, besides my human revolution.

Finally, let me have the good fortune and wisdom to meet up the right person whom I will feel comfortable, blissful and interested with, and she must feel the same way too.

Let Me Have The Life Condition To Work My Way For Happiness !