A fun-loving weekends since the (ill-fated) exams... going for Doris and Zheng Hsin's birthdays...going for SD Rufu run... going for 3 steps forward meeting... but things are not meant to be.
Never mind for others who had enjoyed themselves. But the inner inferiority and disappointments that had accumulated over that 7 years had let me DOWN... at the end of the day, 出门或不出门没差别...
I am grateful to fellow SSA comrades who had been showing concerns to me over these past few days since the exams...I am sorry to show everyone that black face of mine... I just can't elevate my life condition to participate with you all in all these joyous and fun occasions...
Sometimes I wish I can work more harder in my O levels and enter into a JC or a much better course in poly...
Sometimes I wish I can set my decision soo firm and work towards my goal when I was 16...
Sometimes I wish I can put studies infront rather than emoing over some one-sided relationship shit...
Sometimes i wish such negative (study, relationship and family) karma will not accumulate without being realised over 7 years...
Sometimes I wish I can turn back time... I really wish a scientist can invent time-machine for people like me to make amends...
But NO POINT OF WHAT-IFS and that's no bloody shit called Time-Machine !!!
Yes, everything happens for a reason... but such theory has been too costly for me !
I can't blame the likes of As and Ss who I used to like but no chance comes out of it...
I can't blame the way I was brought up...
I can't blame destiny and luck...
I have only myself to blame...
I HAVE ENOUGH !!!
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